Four Attributes of an Evolved Relationship | Day 4 WTFOW #5

I have been a signature anti-relationships for a long time. Not because I have an ancient head that stays against the idea of relationships before marriage. Nah! I am as modern as they come 😉 Anyway, I have had trust issues since forever. However, things changed when my mom decided that it was time for me to get married, and I entered into the world of marriage. Saying that I struggled in the relationship would be an understatement of the century. Not only did I think of breaking all the ties of this relationship, I drove my husband nuts. My husband’s patience and my own moments of self-realization motivated to make this relationship a success.(Fingers Crossed!)

However, after three years of my marriage and a lot of research on this concept, I have finally begun to realize that a relationship must have these four attributes to survive. Just growing old together shouldn’t be our aim. I believe, evolving together should be an ultimate goal of any relationship. In my opinion, you know that your relationship has reached that threshold of absolute perfection when you notice these attributes –

  1. Your Individuality is Treasured and not Frowned Upon For me, my freedom has been my most prized possession. Even the thought of a forceful change in my lifestyle scares the bejesus out of me. So, logically speaking, I would hate the person who would push me to be something I am not comfortable being. We, humans, were not made to be identical, then why to hide the characteristics that make us unique. A relationship has a chance of evolving if you can be what you wish to be and not be demeaned for doing so.
  2. You Respect Each Other’s Personal Space and Time – This is the best aspect of a well-groomed relationship. The point in our relationship when we know the importance of each other’s personal time is definitely a turning point. Giving each other a breathing space should not be taken as a personal attack; rather, it must be encouraged. This way, we both get to develop or follow our hobbies.
  3. You don’t need Words to Know your Partner’s State of Mind – We don’t need to be mind readers to develop this trait. Simple observation skills seem to do the trick for us. Really looking at your partner in all their moods — good and bad — helps in knowing their thoughts without them needing to actually speak their heart out. This may sound a cliché but it is definitely achievable.
  4. None of You has Declared an Upper Hand in the Relationship – I would say that this is the most sought after trait. The moment one of you has declared your dominance and began taking another person for granted, your relationship is far from being evolved. I am in no way saying that a dominating person cannot be in an evolved relationship. What I am saying is that one must consider and respect their partner’s wishes and not demand to get their way.

So, there you have it! What, according to you, are the attributes that help in evolving together in any relationship? I would love to know your thoughts.

This post is dedicated to 4th day of the Write Tribe Festival of Words.



17 Comments Add yours

  1. Rajlakshmi says:

    Brilliant points there and I agree with all of them. All relationships need work and both the partners are responsible for its success. Of course it takes few years to understand and get used to the habits of the partner. Keeping these points in mind I am sure couples can avoid friction at times 🙂

    1. Getting used to each other’s habits really takes a lot of time & patience.

  2. BellyBytes says:

    You seem to have hit the nail on the head. I would say that economic parity helps too…..

  3. I agree with all of them Ankita! Both individuals need to respect these in equal measures to make it work! In the same breath one must accept each other with arts and all because that is reality, right? More than the power equation, I’d say mutually accepting each other as different individuals but committed to making the relationship work equally is more important.

    1. “More than the power equation, I’d say mutually accepting each other as different individuals but committed to making the relationship work equally is more important.” Loving how you put the idea in the most suitable words 🙂

  4. Suzy says:

    Good list. I particularly like #4 However the true test of a relationship comes in the hard times

    1. That’s so true! Many relationships come out stronger while some crumble to the ground.

  5. I totally agree.. Learning and growing together is wonderful.

    1. Definitely! I strongly believe that this is the best way to evolve in a relationship.

  6. upasna1987 says:

    I think I need to follow these religiously to have an evolved relationship. Glad you shared.

    1. I’m delighted that you liked the post enough to think of implying the same in your own life. I would eagerly wait to hear all about the effect of the same on your relationship 🙂

  7. I totally agree with your four attributes towards achieving perfection in a relationship. And, I don’t see any of them separated from the other.

    1. These are all the pearls of the same necklace 🙂

  8. #3 is so true… just don’t need words or their assurance….a look, a touch, a presence is enough

    1. You got that absolutely right 🙂

  9. Parul Thakur says:

    Lovely! Did you see my Day 4 post? It’s similar with Kahlil Gibran’s poem on relationships.

    1. I just did and I admire the rhythmic flow of words in it.

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