Talking about hope is so easy when you are in a bright and beautiful place surrounded by love and care; however, the real test is when you are in a dark place and thinking of ways to run away from the world. I, like almost all of us, have been in both the places, and I hate being seeing anyone in a dark place. Really. Ask my friends. If you are my friend and are lost or sad, I would move mountains to bring hope back into your life. Unfortunately, I have to stand alone in my hour of need. This is not to say that my friends are selfish. Oh, no. They are some of the best people one could expect to find in this world. It’s just that my timing is always super incredible. Trust me. Nonetheless, my hope in a better tomorrow keeps me sane.
These past couple of months have been very tough on me. I have been in and out of depression, and I felt so lost that my brain wondered to the most formidable places. I considered quitting everything and just watch it all end. “Wake me up when it’s all over” kind of feeling trapped my mind. Nobody and nothing actually mattered during those strange hours. When you are in such a state of mind, you are in your most vulnerable state and all you want is acceptance from your loved ones. Sadly, others are not in the same state; therefore, they do not comprehend the gravity of the situation. My husband could not understand my state of mind and therefore could not help me. My one good friend tried to help but even he could not grasp the severity. My sister proved to be my prince in the shining armor. She tried her best to explain to my parents and husband that this is not the time to say the “right thing.” This was the time to just show their support even if they did not agree with my thoughts.
With the support of your friends and family, you feel relieved. It does not take away all the negative thoughts and depression, but it proves to be a ray of hope. A hope is the best thing one can have in life. No matter how many people shower you with their love and care, if you are unable to hope for a better tomorrow, you would always be alone. I have my personal experience as a living example. I came out of that state of mind after reading The Secret. The thing about people is that they would eventually lose their patience in you. They would announce their love for you at the top of their lungs one day and the next day decide that you are not worth their time and energy. If you rely too much on these people, sooner or later, you would find yourself lost and alone. On the contrary, if you have a strong relationship with yourself, you know that you are enough, and you have hope that you would find a bright future for sure, you would thrive.
What do I do when I lose hope?
- I take some time off every obligation that is making me feel burdened. Although a majority of people do not understand the importance of mental health, we must never take our emotional and mental health for granted. Only I can know what I am going through, and I would not apologize for it. There are days when I can feel myself mentally exhausted, and I do not shy away from taking days off from work just to take care of myself.
- If I am feeling low due to a friend or family member, I let them know what is causing me a heartache. If they care enough, they mend their ways and/or explain their side. If not, I stop being in touch with them. Leaving anyone is never easy, but staying could be even worse. Do not give anyone a right to take you for granted. Never. This reminds me of a time when I was annoyed with a friend and he put no effort in explaining his side. He chose his ego over me. So, I blocked him from my life. However, our common friend kept telling me about him and his life. It was creating quite a discomfort for me. So, I decided to block her from my life as well. I know it sounds like a cry-baby’s confession, but I am only sharing what helped me get over a toxic state of mind.
- I listen to songs and then the tracks that resonate with my situation, I put them on repeat. Listening to such tracks over and over again helps me recover. Seriously.
- Watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Sex and the City, and other shows that always take my mind off things. Somehow, these take me back to my happy place.
- Putting on makeup almost always cheers me up. You could opt for an activity that makes you happy.
- Keep your mind occupied in something all the time. I know when you are feeling low, doing anything seems impossible, yet this is the best thing that you can do to move on. I choose small things, like taking a long hot shower, applying a face pack, reading a book, clicking pictures for my Insta Page, writing in my journal, planning a trip, and meeting my friends are a few of those activities.
- Read a lot about Hope, Faith, and other positive quotes. Type your favorite positive term in google, click on search, and then go to images. These images not only take the mind off everything negative, but also restore the faith in life.
- Talk to your favorite people. Make crazy plans. Whether you want to or not, laugh at the silliest things. Just convince yourself that you are happy.
If nothing works, seek help. There is nothing wrong in taking care of your mental health. When you feel that hope has fled, nothing inspires you anymore, and you are getting negative thoughts, opt for a counselling. Life is really precious. If you want to quit because of some person, trust me, nobody is worth your life. There is nothing more important than “you.” Live on. Hope itself stands for Hold On Pain Ends. Take care of yourself.
This post is in response to the one word prompt (hope) of Friday Reflections.