Loss of someone you love is the worst feeling in the world, and yet we love over and over again. After all said and done, what life is without love? Not even worth living, right? This afternoon, one of my fur buds, Lily, passed away. To me, she was the synonym of a selfless love for so many reasons. None of my fur babies loved me as much as her.
They all pretty much ignored me and with good reasons. I was almost never around. It was the same with Lily. I was never with her for more than 2-3 days because I work away from my hometown. Nevertheless, from the day she met me, she started following me around. We were supposed to list her for an adoption because we already had a house full of 5 adorable puppies, and my mom and dad were feeling quite overwhelmed with taking care of all of them all by themselves. We always made it a point to ensure that any newborn puppy gets a loving home between the timespan of 2-3 months.
In the case of Lily, however, it was already more than 3 months, so I asked my parents to keep her with us. I was afraid that after spending this much time in our home, she would have a hard time settling in any new family. So, she stayed. I wonder if she knew I was the reason she stayed with us! I cannot think of any other reason for her being so smitten with me.
Lily was the quietest kid in our home. She was mostly asleep or watching others play around. While other kids ignored the pugs, she gleefully played with them. She was definitely an accepting soul. There was never a brawl that she initiated or participated in. In fact, she was drawn into fights by Mishty — her mom. Oh yes, there was one thing she absolutely loved. Barking. The moment the doorbell rang, she would bark her lungs out. We would yell at her to just be quiet, but no. There was no stopping her. She did her fair share of mischiefs but always in a concealed manner. We could never catch her on a crime scene but the shreds of evidence always pointed at her. She was mostly found sleeping next to the proof.
Whenever I went home to visit my parents and sister, Lily used to follow me around. She would sleep in the same bed as me. Whenever I would take a shower, she used to sit in front of the bathroom waiting for me to come out. The moment I would step out of the bathroom, she would show so much affection as if I had just returned from a battlefield. The selfless love that she blessed me with knew no bounds. Shamefully, when Chinky and Minky (two newborn puppies) entered my life, I did not pay as much attention to Lily as I used to. The regret of this fact is eating me now that she has gone.
A Funny Story
I had adopted Chinu, Minu, and brought them home with all intention of bringing them up. But something happened, and I had to leave them with my parents. They gelled pretty well with everyone there, and, as a matter of fact, the care that they are getting there is extraordinary. Anyway, I had bought many goodies, including a cute little velvet bed, for Chinu & Minu. When I dropped them off at my parents’, I left all those goodies with them because I wanted Chinu, Minu to feel as familial in the new setting as possible.
When I read Many Masters Many Lives by Dr. Brian Weiss, I had goosebumps the whole time. Not everyone believes his words, but I do. I have to. The concept of reincarnation and meeting the same souls over and over again in our many lifetimes fascinates and strengthens me. Since I can only offer my words to Lily now, here is my eulogy:
My Dearest Lily,
I take pride in coming up with the right words while writing, but somehow words are not my friends at this moment. Let me just try to express my feelings. You showed me real love without even uttering a word. Your eyes said it all. Having you around me was a divine feeling that I took for granted. Fortunately, our bond runs deeper than my selfish acts, and I know it’s not goodbye. It is simply, until we meet again. Now that you are free of your physical chains, you can be around me 24*7. I know you’ll be watching over me. I hope to feel your warmth and love every time I close my eyes. Love you forever, my love. Will meet you soon!
Your Selfish Sister!