I love reflecting on the lives of myself and other people around me. Out of many things that are common in everybody’s life is waiting. Everyone is waiting for something or someone at every step of their lives. Sometimes we are waiting for our shifts to be over so that we might get out of our offices. Some other times, this wait might be a more difficult one, like waiting for a dead relationship to rekindle or a long gone friend to come back or, in the case of many Indian IT people, stamping of their US visa. Some people wait for the fulfillment of their desire quite patiently, but many others find themselves lost until this wait is over.
My favorite quote about the wait is in the movie, A Cinderella Story. It goes like this,
Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and Disappointing.
I know there is nothing philosophical about this quote. It is my favorite because it just spoke to me. I hate waiting. I am one of those people who sulk until their desire is not fulfilled. Of course, if the thing I am waiting for is very small, like waiting for my shift to be over, I would not be sulking. But, if I am waiting for something that is uncertain, I would be the most irritating and frustrating person in this whole world — excuse the exaggeration.
If you are a fan of Bollywood, there is a very huge chance that you have seen Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Devdas. The side effects of an eternal wait could not have been presented in a better manner. Both Devdas and Paro are waiting to be with each other, but circumstances never favor their relationship. He tries to numb his pain, of waiting for Paro, through alcohol — a lot of alcohol — and ends up losing his life to it. Paro, on the other hand, is married to another man, who is still in love with his dead wife. While Paro waits for Devdas, she holds on to her memories of Devdas. She lights a lamp, as a symbol of Devdas’ life, every day and keeps its flame burning. Heart-wrenching — isn’t it? I would like to believe that it happens only in fiction, but I know it doesn’t. It is very real.
But what should we do while we are waiting for someone — or something — precious to us? If only I had an answer! I was listening to the radio one day and something interesting caught my attention. A guest psychologist, a lady whose name I have forgotten, was on the show. Listeners were encouraged to call the radio station and ask their questions to this lady. A guy, who was in his late twenties, called in great despair. He was missing someone badly and wanted to know how can he distract his mind from that person. A piece of something the psychologist said in her response stuck with me. She said that our brain (left part or right one of the brain, I don’t remember) does not understand the word, No. When we urge our head not to think about something, it immediately thinks about that thing. Therefore, the best method of forgetting about something is to urge your head to think about something else. I don’t recall if I tested this method, but it seemed like a logical theory.
I wish I had more methods to share and implement which might make our lives better while we are suffering the wait (endless or otherwise) of one thing or another. However, I have got nothing. If you have any tried and tested methods to ease the life of people waiting for something (or someone) without which they fear going insane, please share. Let’s help one another. After all, we all are in this struggle, called life, together.
This post is in response to the Friday reflections prompt of the week: “Sometimes waiting is the hardest thing of all.” – Luanne Rice