As I bid farewell to my judgemental side (or so I think), I begin to wonder about the society and its love of tags. Unknowingly, we are all sucked deep into the pit of tags. When we meet somebody, we want to know about their age, marital status, “children” status, job, and the list goes on. Believe it or not, many times our perception of the person is based on these tags. I would like to believe that I have been untouched by this tag based perception, but this is not true. I, too, begin judging a person based on a few or all of these tags. In fact, I would go as far as to say that our perception changes based on the new information we receive regarding this person. I would share an embarrassing incident that shows my own inclination towards tags.
I met a girl in a training program. First, I enjoyed talking to her. The views that she shared about various fields and things resonated with mine. I thought that I could share anything with her. However, the moment I got to know that she has a child, I found myself distancing from her. Not exactly my proud moment! I’ll share what exactly went through my head. Initially, I thought that we would be able to hang out and become good friends, but the moment I realized she is a mother, I knew that this was not going to happen. Moms have different priorities and [generally] they cannot make random and spontaneous plans. Hence, the distance!
I have a tendency to reflect on the things that I do and the decisions I take. Not an easy task, I must tell you. Many times, I exhaust myself so bad with this reflection that I get a headache. Nevertheless, I believe this attribute of mine helps me improve myself every day. When I sat down to reflect on my shameful “distancing” action, I realized how shallow I was being. I am doing the same thing that many people do with me when they hear that I am married. I throw all sorts of wisdom-y quotes on them to make them realize how shallow they are being. This does not mean that, if given a chance, I would not create a perception of somebody else based on their various tags.
These days, I have fallen in love with a tv series: Scandal. I love this series from the bottom of my heart. If you have not seen this series, let me brief you about it. Don’t worry, it won’t be a long description. The US President, Mr. Fitzgerald, is in love with a woman who is not his wife. The name of the lady is Miss Olivia Pope. She is a strong, independent woman. She is in love with the president, too. When I first watched the series, I could not help but stand in “I hate Olivia and Fitz” team. However, the more I watched, the more I fell in love with the love that Fitz and Olivia share. There is a depth of their love that is indescribable. Fitz tried many times to divorce his wife, Mellie, but the politics and circumstances did not allow him to do so. If I keep looking at the tag of “cheating partner,” I would not be able to appreciate the sacrifices that Fitz make for Olivia. If I continue to look at the world from behind tag-tinted glasses, I would hate everything about their love. This would be an easier choice to tag somebody as a cheating partner and hate them; the tough part; however, is to understand what pushed a person to choose the “disgraceful” path. In the case of Olivia, Fitz, and Mellie, Fitz went out in search of love because his wife refused to have a sexual relationship with him. Mellie refused to do so because she was raped by Fitz’s dad and that left a scar in her heart. See, there is the world beyond tags.
I know I would receive a lot of hate from many readers on this post because this is a controversial concept. Nonetheless, I stand firm at my point of view. Except for a few people, who cheat out of habit, every person wants a healthy and happy relationship. Nobody wants to be stuck in an emotional turmoil of having an affair just to satiate some sexual need. Therefore, instead of tagging them as “cheating partners,” isn’t it better to just forgive them and accept them as what they are: humans.
This post is in response to the Friday reflections prompt of the week: Cheating partners – forgive or flick away?