Fear of Losing Love! #FridayReflections

Yesterday, I had a breakthrough with my sister. She doesn’t reveal her true emotions very easily, and to get her to pour out her feelings and fear has never been an easy task. Yesterday, however, things were a little different. Let me recall the events and put these down here for the readers.

I am a paranoid and over-cautious girl, and watching news doesn’t help to shoo this paranoia away from me. Whenever my sister plans to hang out with her friends, I expect her to return by 8 PM. I know this sounds a strict timeline, but if this gives me a satisfaction that she might be safe from all the evil of the world then it’s worth it; I use my commanding voice to instil a little fear in her to ensure that she doesn’t miss the deadline. However, she misses it all the time.The day before yesterday, she repeated the same “I don’t care” attitude, and I’ve had enough. I decided that this time I am not going to call or text her. Let her come when she wants to, I thought. She texted that she would be staying at her friend’s place. Of course, she was reaching home late and broke my deadline, and this thought drove me crazy, yet I decided to doze off. The dreams that I had were far from being called just nightmares. These awful sights of my dream made me shiver. I woke up startled and sweating. Although I have a big ego, I decided to check on her. Thankfully, she received the call and told me that she’ll be coming to my flat in the afternoon. I was relieved but I pretended to be mad at her. I can’t express my immense happiness that she was alright. That moment, I knew that I dread only one thing the most, and that is being separated from my loved ones. I wish the day of arranging any dear one’s funeral never comes in my life. I dread doing only this.

When I came back from office, I rang the doorbell and was glad to see her bright face popping from behind the door. I thought against staying mad at her. I shared my dreadful nightmare with her. Just by narrating the events of  my dream, my eyes welled up. I hope my tears made her realize how much I fear her being in any danger. Anyway, on hearing this, she shared her own fear of losing our mom. I know we were being two emotional fools, but this exchange of fears brought us much closer to each other. She told me that since her childhood, she has been crying whenever the thought of losing our mom crosses her mind. In fact, I think nobody can be prepared to face the day of their mom’s departure, but talking about it is even harder. It goes without saying that then we included our dad in this sob-fest of ours. We both don’t know how would we face that day. This fear is bigger than any other fear.

Come to think of it, we all fight with our loved ones at every second of every day, but the fear of losing them forever keeps us going back to them. This fear might bring tears to our eyes, but it is a constant reminder of the unavoidable future. I believe this is God’s way of telling us to cherish our near and dear ones with affection and compassion. Winning an argument can give us a momentary joy of victory, but losing the love of a part of our heart should never be a cost for this silly triumph. Argue all you want, shout at each other, but never let the distance between hearts increase because once they are gone, there is no coming back.

Make amends if you are one of those who have been at war with their family for silly reasons. Embrace the dear ones, keep them close to your heart for as long as time allows. Let them soar freely, make sure that they are alright, but don’t let your stupid ego cloud your better judgment. Religion, caste, and other social set norms would continue to build and break; breaking the bond of love to please society would never be worth the separation. Love, live, and cherish!

P.S. This post is in response to the amazing #FridayReflection prompt of this week – Write about doing something you don’t want to do/something you dread.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Losing loved ones is the most frightening thing of all. I’m not sure how I’ll cope either when I lose my parents, siblings and of course, my husband. I’ve told him I’d like to go first, but then that’s not fair to him either. Whatever will be, will be….I just hope to be strong when the time comes.

  2. Yep, can totally identify with that fear. Losing loved ones is the hardest even though we know it’s inevitable. I am not sure how I’ll respond and cope but only time will tell.

  3. leannelc says:

    family is so important – I’ve seen families where they have let hostility win and it is such a shame – and so hard to mend fences once you’ve caused a lot of damage.

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