Lately, I have been focusing a lot on what drives our actions. Is it our own happiness, status quo, our family’s wellbeing or a clueless series of actions just to survive? When I listen to the parents (most of the parents — not just mine) I have come to realize that they wish their kids to behave in a manner that is appropriate to the social norms. They wish their kids to get married at an age-appropriate time so that nobody can get a notion that their kids have a flaw that stops them for being married. Come to think of it, it’s not just parents who focus too much energy on the society; sometimes, I find myself acting in a manner that society would approve of. Of course, following a few norms set by the society is good — compulsory, even; however, if our each step is taken just to fit in then I would say there is a hole in the plan. We get only one life; shouldn’t we decide our own unique path? Otherwise, where is the diversity?
I have judged a good share of people based on the choices that they made in their lives. For instance, I judged an uncle who married a girl against his family’s objection and then divorced her to marry another girl. However, now I realize how shortsighted I have been. How can I judge a person unless I have walked in their shoes? I remember judging a girl in my college because of her dating choices. Now, I am ashamed to even remember that time because I think she could have been one of my best friends. Her dating choices are her own choices. Her overall personality should not be judged keeping only her dates in mind. I am glad that at least I have gotten this sense before going on my thirties. This signifies that I am still open to changing my opinion — unlike many stubborn and orthodox people. See, I judged again 😉
My parents wanted me to get married before I turned 25. I wasn’t ready, but considering how much important it was for them to see me tying a knot, I agreed. Not that I regret being married! Fortunately, I am married to a man who treasures me like a princess. However, sometimes I wonder what could have been if I had waited to be ready. The driving force of my parents might have changed the path that I was destined to follow. Who knows? Probably, this was always the plan! When somebody’s driving force intersects with yours and you give up on your own wishes to please them, are you really doing them a favor or cheating yourself by giving up on your own wishes?
All this made me think about my own driving forces. What makes me wake up every morning and smile through most of the day? My job is definitely one of the reasons I wake up but this is not what makes me smile. I haven’t figured out my dream job and I wonder if I would ever be able to figure it out. Then what could be my driving force? Trust me, after pondering over this thought for more than 15 minutes, now I know what drives me. Hope of a better tomorrow is my driving force. Every day I hope that this day would be different and better from the previous day. The world is full of possibilities and I hope that one of these myterious possibilities would enhance my life. I don’t know what do I want; what I do know is that one of these days, I would receive a surprise from God and say,”This is what I was born to do/see.”
Until that day arrives, I am living to be happy. Some may call me selfish, but if I wouldn’t take care of myself then who would; and more importantly, if I am not happy, how can I keep my loved ones happy? I am not going to follow a path that everybody has followed in their personal or professional lives. How
What is your driving force? Waiting to be inspired 🙂
P.S. This post is in response to the Friday Reflections prompt – The driving force of your life.
5 Comments Add yours
Intriguing and thoughtful post. I’ve wondered the same many a times, the time when someone else’s driving force intersects with our own, which would be the best choice? I think to me the driving force of life would be curiosity. Curiosity about the world, about the future, of what could be and all that I don’t know about yet. The unknown. What we know and can know in a life time is so little don’t you think? There’s so much left to do in life, it’s worth living. 🙂
Love these reflections, Ankita. It’s true that we rush to judge. Each of us has our own set of values and norms and it’s often difficult to accept those of others.
Thank you for your authenticity, as always.
Post full of food for thought- It triggered my mind. Not every written word has the power to do so. I too judged so many people because of the way they were handling their lives. My driving force is the curiosity to see my Son growing each day, my unfulfilled wishes and my dream career.