We, humans, are vessels holding unlimited emotions and feelings. All we need is a catalyst to pop the cap of this vessel, and the yearning of this content to rush outside the vessel becomes very intense. The catalyst could be either a situation or a memory. The intensity of this catalyst, however, varies from one person to another and on the type of a catalyst. For me, a horror movie acts as the most effective catalyst. I have been made to watch a few horror movies in the past, thanks to my family, but the horrible faces and scenes of these movies could not be forced out of me. After watching these movies, I begin living like a parasite and would look at others to help me grab a water bottle from next room, reach my wardrobe, and what not. For me, second most overpowering emotion, after fear, is anger. I cannot run from it. It has ruled me in the past and continues to do so. Now when I see a catalyst that may bring this emotion on the surface, I try to count to 100 backwards – cannot say that it helps me a lot, though. I am sure you must have a list of most effective catalysts and their corresponding emotions. I would love to see your list, so feel free to share it in the comments.
So far, we have established that we are like a vessel and emotions are the contents that reside inside this vessel. You must have noticed that some of us keep our emotions on the surface while others tend to conceal their true emotions. My sister is the “concealer.” She keeps the most serious incidents to herself and maintain a poker face. She does not conceal all of her emotions; when she is happy, everyone would know about it. However, when she is sad, it becomes impossible to make her admit even the fact that she is sad. There are so many of us, who behave this way, and it terrifies me.
Concealing one’s real emotions can be very harmful. Consider yourself as a pressure cooker and the contents that reside inside you, the pressure cooker, are emotions, like anger, sadness, regret, etc. You have decided to keep these inside of you and not let these out. You are constantly on fire. Your body is exhibiting symptoms that it had enough; however, you have decided that you cannot, or would not, let the content out. It has been longer than instructed time limit; gradually, you find yourself burning up. You cannot think, sleep, eat, and be your normal self. Suddenly, it is more than what you can handle. Finally, there is a blast – boom! Everything that was inside of you has exploded outside. If there was somebody close enough to you, they have been burnt by this outburst of mixed emotions. The irony is that the person, who got hurt, may not have been the culprit, but being closer to you made them a victim. On the contrary, if you were alone, only you are suffering the consequences of burying these emotions inside of you for so long. Neither of these scenarios is okay. Concealing the emotions may result in minor health problems and may end up giving a rise to various neurological problems.
The question arises, why people feel the need to bottle up these emotions inside of them. There is no straight answer. Different people have different reasons. Nevertheless, one thing remains the same; the cause of hiding one’s emotions is always another emotion. Some conceal their emotions out of fear — ironically, another emotion. Others conceal their emotions due to hesitation. Another set of people hides their emotions because they wish to escape the judgement of others. As I said, many scenarios force people in hiding their real emotions, but the consequences of keeping emotions inside are never pretty.
A few situations, however, demand that you be in your best behavior. For example, professional environment enforces the rule that you behave in the most restricted manner. Failing to do so may put you in the blacklist of many people. I, who preach revealing one’s real emotions, have disdained a few “unprofessional” people, myself. In my defense, however, their manner of revealing emotions has been hurtful and mean – to say the least. How else would you describe a person who has the heart and audacity to ask a new addition in our team, “I wonder, how did you manage to pass high school?”
I believe the key is to master the skill of delivering the emotions in a manner that you convey your message without offending your colleagues. I know it is called diplomacy. I do no not promote diplomacy in personal life; however, it can help you a lot in your professional life. Mastering this skill is another matter altogether. If you are anything like me, you would not be able to embed this attribute in your personality. I have a technique that has helped me over the years. If I cannot reveal my real emotions to a person directly due to the wall of ethics, then I would discuss my problems and feelings with my friends. They may not help me – in fact, they rarely have anything of value to offer – but, this outlet of emotions helps me sleep.
Having said all that, I urge all my readers to encourage themselves and others not to conceal their emotions. Reveal them to the person that has acted as a catalyst or to a friend. Be happy and merciful!
This post is in response to the daily post prompt: Conceal
4 Comments Add yours
I think I read a story not so long ago debunking the theory that it’s good to get all of those emotions out. People who go around angry all the time, yelling at people, end up both stressed and lonely because nobody wants to be around them. I guess we all know the best way to be healthy is to somehow find a way to let go of that anger and not let the actions of others affect us. I’ve never done yoga or meditation, but I’m sure that’s a way to learn to better control your perspective on things.
Anger is, I believe, the most complicated and hard to control emotion. Not letting out anger has also caused many people to drown into regret and sorrow in the past. Learning to control it by the help of yoga and meditation, like you suggested, is a healthy way to calm yourself. However, I think after calming oneself, delivering what’s bothering you in a nicer manner can help. If we do not let others know that their actions are hurting us, then those people would keep repeating their actions, and we would keep on suffering. Of course, there can be no certainty that once we convey our feelings, others would change. Nevertheless, it’s better to be denied than never having a courage to speak our mind. This is my perception, though!
Maybe we just need to conceal the negative emotions? Maybe we ought to express only the positive end of the spectrum?
I’m not sure. Either way, I have never been very good at expressing emotions. So concealment it is for me, though not by voluntary choice.
– Chicky @ http://www.mysteriouskaddu.com
I get what you’re saying. My sister is one of those people who do not express their real emotions very often. I think as long as the hiding part doesn’t cause grief or anger to you, you’re fine. When it starts depressing you or causing violent reactions, you must realize that something needs to change. Generally, We need to express ourselves to bring that change.